Monday, November 03, 2008

The Move..

well, the development team in Netsignature has moved to a new floor of the building to sit side by side to the QC team, sure and like any company there are two competing development teams, Java and .Net team, the later one is of course very happy with Microsoft products and the visual studio features and the other team is very enthusiastic about open source and stuff.

The move is much more beyond switching offices and desks, it's the beginning of a new era where .Net and Java are one unit facing together those QC guys, it's the beginning of a formally declared war against those who always insist that every feature is a bug and every innovation is an undesirable system behavior, those who don't have loyalty to anyone or any technology, what do we expect from guys always trying to prove that any system is not working to get raises and high ranks??!!

There are many tactics -we- developers can use to successfully crush those uncreative people.

1- Bribes:
The first and easiest way to overcome your enemy is by finding a traitor and use him behind his lines, at Netsignature, RAINEs (Reward of Achievement and Innovation for Netsignature Employees) can do the job, however this solution can be somehow inefficient and not very powerful considering long term deals.

2- Psycological war:
The most effcient weapon ever in history is humans themselves, we can use them against themselves, developers must not accept bugs in a smooth way, always deny that the bug assigned to you is yours and reassign it, deal with them very cold and without paying much care to their work, however, QC at Netsignature is powerfull enough to bear this and also developers will get bored after some time.

3- Catch me if you can:

A developer can really make QC guys go crazy by intentionally inserting rarely happening bugs in the code , so when the bug is assigned to the developer it becomes unreproducible and simply the developer's answer would be; "I dun know how to get this bug happening again..!!". In most cases like this, QC guys will get busy with other bugs and forget those kind of bugs which will surely happen after the release, and when this happens, the QC will be the problem of the project manager. If we succeed to repeat this situation, QC will soon leave the company either by their will or not :) .

4- Chaos:
A single developer can be a huge source of chaos to every one, and QC are humans after all, just make them get angry and start shouting and they will loose their energy trying to calm down, keep this up every day and it will be not more than a week for all of the QC team to quit.

5- Assassinations:
That's it, every other way is not working, we have to work it out the hard way, let's kill them.
At this level, developers need great courage to destroy the enemy's weapons. Starting with the issue tracker can be very effective, it will really blow up the whole department and when the team gets busy with this accident, we can go for a direct attack against PCs, laptops, cellular phones, e-mail accounts and even their desks, we need to deliver a very powerful attack once and for all.

It is the time for developers to forget all their internal arguments and quarrels and pay great attention to the real enemy. Developers must reign.


Shereef Sakr said...

Developers must prevail :D

Mohammad Nabil said...

2ob2a 2ablny low el build 1.0.4 pass

Youssef Mamdouh said...

leeh keda ya nabil da7na es7ab :D :D

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